Dear non-existential readers
I’ve been struggling to cope with some of my issues the past few months, mainly emotional reliance, emptiness and self-esteem issues.
And I think for the first time, I finally feel like I can see the light at the end of the tunnel. To put it into a gist, I’ve been relying on someone for far too long, and far too much. It’s like how a baby relies on their mother- and the mother disappears. The consequences of it spiralled quite a lot- and I’m slowly picking up the pieces. And I feel hopeful again, something I’ve not been feeling for a long time since coming back from exchange.
I’m feeling more optimistic, and having part of my old self again- that cheerfulness, feels good. Yet, at the same time, I think I’ve grown too, and I’m no longer the me I used to be.
I still have the same old questions- what do I wanna do in the future, what kind of change I would want to make- but somehow, this feels a little different. I feel like I’m ready again, and I feel that I’m gonna come back stronger than ever.
I honestly don’t know why I’m sharing this to the public, to random strangers of the mysterious internet, where it can be so vulnerable and perhaps may one day be used in an attempt to exploit me. But I also know that by sharing this part of me to the world, I am recognising it, and you cannot attack someone with something they are not afraid to hide.
In the end, we’re all humans with their own fears and challenges to conquer. I just want to say that, even if you think you’re alone, you’re never alone.